May Malen's Diary, chapter 8

May and Dad in Norfolk on holidays

Some few weeks ago, my cousins from Netherland appeared in Cambridge for a whole week. Tomas is an enchanting boy, very charming and a good talker. They read for me, as Maira Rosa, his sister, was listening as well as I was. It was cold. We went out very rarely, not to catch a cold! The van Emdens are all ways ill with ear’s sore and nor always very well. I feel sorry because they are my only relatives of my age and I enjoyed playing with them.  To go out, Dad wrapped me up a lot, and yet I felt cold, as you may see in my face. My cousins stay with us nearly every day, but Aunt Paula has so m any friends over here, which took a lot of her time and her family time as well. Altogether, we walked, despite rain and cold, for us to be used to the weather and not to

be sick. It is our miss fortune that the weather be more powerful than our defences. Maira Rose has always ear’s sore and Tomas seems to me is always   coughing. And so am I. Our physicians say that the weather is our enemy and that we must take care of us.

However, how? We are, the three of us, very little to cure our diseases. It is the duty and obligations of our parents to take care of us. We did not ask to come to this world. However, what does a couple with no children? Abuelo says that the union of two persons are to procreate. I am sure my Mum and Dad know of this, which is the way they gave me life. I have no idea; I have thought always that children were planted in a garden and within a cabbage, or another plan. If it is no so, why Abuelo used to call me carrot and addressed to me very many letters with the name he gave me. I am a carrot; I am convinced that Abuelo would never lie to a minor like me. If he did, he would be teaching how to hide the truth and to act as we pleased. To act as one please, is not decent, especially if you have been brought up by lovely adults as Aunt Paula and uncle Cristan are. They would never hide the truth for Tomas and Maira Rose learn from a very little age, that it’s better to tell their parents what is behind their commitments. Same as Abuelo and my parent, they never talk in secrecy for me not to listen the   subject of their conversation

Abuelo says that life has to be confronted with honour and shame: honour for our successes and shame if we miss behave. I have asked Mum what is to misbehave and she says that is a way of being where we despise others and think only of our pleasure, not wanting to share our happiness with no one else. Abuelo has written various books on children, where I can read that the truth shall do a good child, clever, valiant and sweet with everyone. One has to break down the wall of silence as a book by his best analyst, Alice Miller, says in 176 pages. She defends that the wall of silence is to put aside the child- us three -, to seat the kid in front of a television for the child not to intrude in adult’s behaviour. As if we were a doll or disobedient children. A disobedient child only exists if their adults pay no attention to them and do not explain what our inexperienced mind cannot know as yet. Abuelo, as Aunt Paula, study children and they have noticed how much and deep is the influence of parents to children, that, as Alice Miller, once more, say: thou shalt not be aware of societies’ betrayal of the child, sentence which is the title of her book of 1981. A book that Abuelo knows upside down, same as the other quoted before, her book of 1990

And I shall say no more. I promise I shall never lie, so that parents and Abuelo can trust me, same as they do: they never lie or hide the truth from my little reality

I have no idea how am I going to be. I only know that I am a happy girl for the trustful family that I have…Furthermore, how am I knowing to lie if I have no idea how do perform as such? My family is ideal, both the Isleys and the Iturra-González. So many names! I feel happy with them all…especially with my cousins van Emdens, Tomas and Maira Rose that know very well how to take of me, he little cousin…Tomás is tender and in silence is always attending how to take care of me, as he does with his sister, Maira Rose, and Abuelo with his siblings.

I know I’m writing an essay on psychology og the child, but these are the words which Abuelo write on my behave. I love him so much, as he loves me. But, above all, I adore my Dad who usually carry me on his shoulders!,  as you can see in the photograph: so big so strong, so careful..He is my Dad and I shall do as he does, I promise…